Today has been a week of changing the way I think, and things appearing to help me to do that in a very strange yet wonderful way. At the beginning of the week I was thinking of going on yet another diet, and feeling depressed at the thought, and then realising that it would fail anyway because it would be a short term solution, and then despairing because I knew I really needed to lose some weight, and then feeling I might as well give up before I start...you know the kind of thing. My brain knows that diets screw up your relationship with food, and the diet industry is the only one that benefits from this, but still part of me was saying 'maybe this time it will be different' even though I knew that it wouldn't be. It takes such mental energy to be in a constant battle with yourself like that, I knew something had to be different this time. So then, I don't know what made me do it, but I decided to search for some books on altering the way you look at food and came up with The Zen of Eating by Ronna Kabatznik, and also Meal by Meal by Donal Altman. Both are basically saying the same thing - to practice mindfulness when you eat. Of course there's a lot more to it than that but that's the idea - be aware, slow down, notice taste, textures, smells, the feeling of fullness, and stop eating when you reach the point of being satisfied. I've been putting some of the ideas into practice whenever I can this week, and am certainly feeling happier than I was counting calories or points. I'll try and keep a note of how it goes over the next few weeks.
The second moment of synchronicity came when I was just browsing through some magazines in a supermarket. I saw a new one called Vegan Food & Living and was attracted by the photography (of course) so bought it. The recipes were a real eye-opener! I've been a veggie since I was about 18 and often enjoy vegan meals but have never been 'a vegan' because I thought it would be too time consuming and difficult, and I'd have to cook separate meals for David. I then realised from practicing mindfulness that I no longer wanted any animal products such as cheese or eggs, that I didn't really like them much or the way that they made me feel. This was a bit of a revelation. I made the decision to eat vegan meals from then on and to try out new recipes. This then led me to research vegan websites, and there are so many out there, with such fab food! One of my favourites is Fat Free Vegan Kitchen. You don't have to be a vegan to enjoy the food on there, just interested in food that tastes delicious and is good for you.
Last night I used a recipe from that site for Portobello Fries which were delicious! They were portobello mushrooms sliced into 'fries', coated in flour, the liquid from a tin of chickpeas, and golden breadcrumbs, then backed in the oven until crispy. By the way, David has requested them again so they must be ok.
So that was my week of food coincidences, one thing leading to another. I've gone from a pretty depressed vegetarian to a more content vegan with a better understanding of myself. All because I subconsciously remembered that if you keep doing the same things, you keep getting the same things, - so I changed something.