Tuesday, 5 June 2012

Cats on Tuesday... (not quite a drama in the garden but almost)

It was a quiet day in the garden when the stillness was broken by a scream from Pepper...

'HELP!  HELP!  Intruder alert, intruder alert!!!'

Sure enough, lurking behind the shed looking as if he chewed up unwary kittens for breakfast, sat a large black and white cat...

Pepper (still screaming):  'Who are you and what do you want?!'
Intruder:  'I've come to see Evil Genius Cat about
the job of assistant...'
Pepper (screaming louder): 'CHARLEEEE, there's another
minion here for you!'

Charlie came to see who this new applicant was, and Posky came just to be nosy...

Posky: 'Did you advertise?'
Charlie: 'No, it must have been word of miaowth...'

Charlie:  'OK then, what's your name and
what qualifications do you have?'
Intruder: 'My name's Ralph'(said a little defensively)
' and this is my evil stare....'
Charlie: 'Not bad... do you bite, claw and scratch?'
Ralph: 'Always - sometimes all at once'.
Charlie: 'Do you feel you could easily beat
up small, irritating Buddhist cats?'
Ralph: 'It's one of my favourite hobbies'.
Charlie (impressed): Ever tried World Domination?'
Ralph: 'Not yet, but I'm hoping to pick up tips from you on that'
Charlie (preening): 'Of course you are. OK show me some "appearing suddenly
in unexpected places whilst looking good on camera"moves'...

Ralph: 'Like this?...

... 'or this?'

Charlie: 'Oh that's very good.  You know Ralph,
I'm really liking you and I think you've got great
potential, but unfortunately due to the economic
climate I just can't take you on right now'...

Ralph: 'Is it worth me coming back around Halloween to see
if things have picked up?'

Charlie: 'Please do... I'll keep your details in my file of evil...'

Mrs P: 'Crikey, he was a bit scary wasn't he?'
Posky: 'Don't worry, Charlie won't hire someone
as photogenic as that, he couldn't stand the competition...'
Charlie (from offstage right): 'I heard that!'

For more kitties visit Gattina's Cats on Tuesday.


Sharon Wagner said...

I love any story that manages to include the word minion. I had to read it twice!

Barbara said...

Your cats are getting better and better at this drama thing. I can just hear Charlie saying, "Don't call us. We'll call you." as Ralph leaves disappointed.

Barbara said...

Sharon - LOL! It's a great word isn't it? I try to use it as much as possible :O)

Barbara - Ralph has not been back since, I await his return audition with interest :O)

The Silver Bunny said...

love it !

Kathy said...

I know the focus is on cats here but....Wow..lovin' all that bokeh in the tree!

Gattina said...

Yes my dear in this hard time of economical crisis you have to postpone the eventual hireing of the intruder, although he sounds perfect. But you have your human minion (btw, I learned a new word, thanks !) who apparently doesn't work enough !

Laloofah said...

Well here it is not even quite official summer yet, and you've got me eagerly anticipating Halloween! Will Ralph return? Or will he be hired by a rival Evil Domination Gang in need of a minion in the meantime? IS there a rival Evil Domination Gang or has Charlie cornered the market? And if Ralph does return, will he have padded his resume with new cunning tricks? Will Charlie be able to afford his services? Will Pepper be able to stand it if he can?

Oh, the suspense is killing me!

I think this would have easily qualified as a Drama in the Garden - Pepper's screams starting it off in fine melodramatic fashion - if only Ralph hadn't accepted his rejection so good naturedly, but had instead threatened to return with a large Rottweiler friend.

Another wonderful and entertaining post! Many thanks to you and your talented acting troupe, including the walk-ons. :-)

Deanna said...

This was so entertaining...love the actors...er cats. So very clever!!

Au and Target said...

MOL, we're looking forward to the Evil Domination of the world by cats. Ralph is a handsome cat!

Barbara said...

Silver Bunny - Many thanks.
Kathy - spoken like a true 'tog. I'm quite fond of that tree bokeh myself.
Gattina - Doesn't work enough? (Sputters with indignation)! :O))
Laloofah - I think that Charlie was still testing Ralph when he said he couldn't take him on right now, if Ralph had had a hissy fit he'd have been hired on the spot!
Deanna - my thespian kitties thank you.
Au and Target - I think the world would be much more civilised with cats in charge. Ralph thanks you for the compliment (and preens his whiskers).

The Chair Speaks said...

We love that conversation. And Charlie do look formidable sitting his ground there. Purrs!

Anonymous said...

I've been away from blogdom (and particularly yours!) for far too long! Wonderful drama-documentary! But really! Charlie doesn't need any assistants! Ralph has such a cheek! Particularly with a name like Ralph... No wonder he was hesitiant about admitting to it! 'Ralph, Prince of Evil!' Nah... Don't see it... He'll need to see about changing it by deed poll in time for Hallowe'en if he wants anyone to take him seriously.

Studyjunkie said...

Word of miaowth. Ouch. ;)

Barbara said...

Penny: I think Charlie gets inundated with requests for evil-doing and so thought about taking on an assistant to help with the boring stuff. Got to agree with you about that name though, now if he'd been called Beelzebub or Lucifer...

Rachael: I was wondering if anybody would notice that little gem :O)))

Rita said...

Thanks for visiting my "Rooftop Perch" post recently.

Your right about the Tortoiseshell cats. If I had not known better I would have though ours had escaped again and found her way into your garden. They have the same look.

We have one that also matches your black and while as well.

Enjoyed your story and lovely photos.

Anonymous said...

Of course we noticed! Your posts are so full of these gems that we have to select just a few to comment on! :o)


Barbara said...

As always Penny, you are kindness itself :O)


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