So I decided to do a photo shoot with the cats and some pumpkins that I’d just bought from Warwick Pumpkins, a great place with so many different varieties of squash it’s amazing. They also have two cats, one of whom sat on a pumpkin for me (she'd obviously trained from kittenhood for it) and let me take her photo.
Dora the pumpkin farm cat - 'Don't try this at home'
It was this that gave me the idea of getting my own miscreants to pose with some pumpkins at home.
Anyway, I arranged the pumpkins artistically on the lawn and sure enough the cats arrived to be nosy, and that's when the naughtiness began...
Things seemed to start off well with the ever-reliable Posky having a sniff at them, but before I could do more than take a couple of shots he got distracted by a leaf and was off practising his footwork on it. This was very discouraging.
'Yes but what's my motivation? Oooh look, a leaf!'
'Skillz - I haz them'
Then it was Pepper’s turn – she walked into the garden, took one look at the camera, and threw up. I’m not sure what kind of comment she was trying to make with this… After she got that out of her system she had a brief look at the pumpkins before spotting Posky, still dribbling his leaf around the lawn. This obviously looked much more fun than stationary squash so she charged full tilt at him and jumped on his back.
'But I don't want to pose prettily with the pumpkins, I want to throw up
again... Hmmm, is that a leaf Posky has over there? I'm going to take
it off him and I'm going to make him cry like a girl...'
'Just winding up for the attack launch... two degrees right, one degree left...'
'LAUNCH ATTACK!!! KILL, MAIM, DESTROY!!!'
I hoped I could count on Mrs Pod who was at least lying on the grass. However she obviously didn’t want to invade the pumpkins' personal space so wouldn't get any closer to them than about four feet.
'You can yell at me all you want, I'm deaf and I can't hear you.
Anyway, Charlie said the orange ones are poisonous'
'Why is Pepper beating Posky up? And is that a leaf he's got there?
I want one!'
'Here's one! Quick, come and take a photo of this instead!'
I was beginning to tear my hair out at this point, not helped by Charlie doing his ‘don’t talk to me about life’ face and going to sit on the garden bench away from everyone else.
'I refuse to set foot on the lawn while there are weird looking vegetables on it'
'Are they playing with leaves there? Bloody luxury! I've never had a leaf of
my own. All I had to play with when I was growing up was a dead twig'
It was then that I decided the only option was to dismiss the cats and bring in a professional.
'Hmmm, let's see, yes I think I can do something with these...'
'Next time, just come to me first...'
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