Annual Purrformance Review from the Cats...

Posky here, our friend Cody over at Cat Chat posted this review of his Mum and we decided it was high time we had our say on that strange woman we live with.

Quantity of Output
Posky: The problem here isn't quantity but quality as far as I can see it.  She writes a lot of drivel.
Pepper: I like it when she puts up a post about me.
Charlie: No, she puts up far too much about you Pepper.
Pepper: I feel nothing but compassion for you Charlie...
Charlie: And enough with the Buddhist crap!
Posky: Moving swiftly on... Mrs P would you like to add anything?
Mrs Pod: Well it would be better if she only posted about us wouldn't it? I think this blog suffers from an excess of diversification.
Other three: Eh???

Quality of Output
Posky: Hmmm, tough one this.  She does try with the photos (she's very trying), but I don't think she's caught my full gorgeousness on camera yet.  Did I tell you about the time I won those cups at the cat show...?
Charlie: Oh dear god he's off again.  Look, I'm sick of her shoving that camera in my face.  Next time she tries it I'm going to have it off her and bury it in the litter tray.
Pepper: Do you think you may have issues here Charlie?  I like the photos she puts up of me because I look pretty and everybody says so.  I think it's interesting when she talks about me and I wish she wouldn't put up photos of other things.  They're not interesting at all.  What's that photo of a candle about?
Posky: Back on topic here people!  Are we satisfied with the quality or not? What about you Mrs P?
Mrs Pod: I think she's ok with the photos, and the imagination isn't bad, although I don't think she captures the nuance of our thoughts accurately.
Pepper: (Whispers) What does 'nuance' mean?

Client Pawticipation
Posky: Well I think we're all agreed on this, we might as well live in a black hole for the amount of contact opportunities she gives us.  Show of paws? Yep, agreed, she's rubbish.  Next.

Pawticipation
Posky: I didn't even know we could enter contests and go to parties.
All: General rumblings of discontent and revolution...  Pepper conspicuously wipes a tear from her eye.

Client Catisfaction
Posky:  Well given the limited exposure she gives us, what do we think?
Pepper: People like it when she posts a photo of me, they write and tell me.
Charlie: No they do not! Anyway, I don't think anyone likes this blog at all, and that's all I have to say on the matter.
Pepper: I am sending out loving thoughts to you Charlie because I still feel compassion for you and I think you're unhinged, can you feel them?
Charlie: You'll feel the back of my paw in a minute, you little...
Mrs Pod: SHUT UP! I think we can safely say that reactions are 'mixed'. She must try harder, she's got an MA for goodness sake, you'd think that would mean she could keep people interested for the length of a posting.

Overall Rating
Posky: I'd say two paws, and 'must do better'.
Pepper: Me too, and it would be better if the blog were called 'The Magic of Pepper'.
Charlie: Well I say two swats. I just like the violence.
Mrs Pod: I give her four paws.  She knows how to use the tin-opener.

Comment from Barbara: I feel shame.

For more cat reviews - some a great deal less critical of their poor slaves than this one got to The Cat Blogosphere.
More pets can also be found at the lovely Bozo's Pet's Foevever site.